…I’m just lost.
I seem to have lost my way a little bit with blogging and social media in general. The constant onslaught of adverts on instagram, some weight gain, a lack of motivation to sew or blog anything, the continuous favouritism displayed in certain areas within the sewing community, the same pattern shapes being released by multiple pattern companies, the desperate graspiness for attention and the repetitiveness on my feeds have left me feeling lacklustre, uninspired and like I have nothing to offer you on this funny little corner of the internet.
But lately I’ve begun to rethink about exactly why I started this blog, why I started sharing my makes on instagram and what I want out of it all and I’ve realised that, ultimately, what I need to do is do it all for me. Now I know that sounds pretty damn obvious (it’s my blog after all) but in the online sewing community at the moment feels ultra competitive with intense pressure to be ‘insta-perfect’ and ain’t nobody got time for that! I certainly don’t.
I sew because it makes me feel like me. I miss it when I can’t do it, I get all scratchy without a project and I love planning projects. I love that sewing means I can make clothes that actually fit that I actually want to wear, no matter my size. I love that this hobby allows me to use skills I worked bloody hard and paid a lot of money to achieve, to create and think in ways my day job doesn’t facilitate. I write because I want to share. It feels great to be able to talk my experiences (even when it all goes a bit wrong!) and I hope that even if only 1 person ever reads this blog that I can offer something they enjoy. I always want to be as genuine and as ‘me’ as possible, not some insta-ready, insta-perfect lifestyle account. I don’t want to do things that mean I fit in. I never seem to fit in and that’s ok.
In particular lately I’ve noticed that instagram feels more and more like a competition. Having found myself thrilled at how many likes a post received only to feel disappointed with my next post, I know now that’s not a terribly healthy way to feel. It’s just an app! I recently unfollowed hundreds of accounts to help my feed fill up with content I actually want to see and I do plan to continue to do this slowly for the next few months. Mentally I don’t have the room for the clutter that is an obligation follow. I’d much prefer to follow 50 accounts I really love instead of 5000 because they once used the hashtag ‘sewing’…
I want to make and share what I want to make and share, in a way that’s true to me. I hope that people will continue to be interested (hello if you’re still reading, by the way) and that they want to engage with me and my blog or instagram, but for the foreseeable I’m choosing to focus on posting things I want to, not things I feel obligated to. I’m not promising I’ll post more often, but I’m still here!
If any of you have felt like this before please comment or email and let me know how you refound your love for your blog, or even if you didn’t or even if it’s not about blogging at all! I’d love to know.